Please try again.
- Luis' parking. He keeps stealing her spot—well, technically not hers, but where she always parks, by the south entrance, closest to the doors. He even has the nerve to complain about her parking, and Doug takes his side! Cites Luis' ruptured disc. It's not Katherine's fault the handicap spots are by the north entrance. He doesn't even walk with a cane.
- Favoritism among so-called managers like Doug. E.g. granting parking privileges for persons with fake disabilities. It's an affront to those who have actual disorders, with doctors' notes!
- Angela's use of small paperclips hinders productivity. Those gaudy multi-colored ones the length of her fingernails are downright incendiary. Katherine has told her—how many times now?—Jumbo clips Model 72580 are professional and maneuverable.
- Lunchtime use of nail varnish by Angela not only stinks up the office, it's insensitive towards those with allergies and/or disorders such as nail-biting.
- Luis' parking, again. On Thursday, he blocks the south entrance to unload a box of clinking bottles, saying it'll be worth it once she tastes his mother's Coquito recipe. The flavor of Puerto Rico, he says.
- The plastic cutlery in the kitchen runs out at least once a week.
- Insufficient supply. Does Doug really need a knife and fork to cut his Egg McMuffin?
- A spoon melts in her apartment's dishwasher. They should clearly be labeled Not Dishwasher Safe.
- At the company karaoke party during Angela and Doug's Coquito-infused duet of Bublé's "Nobody But Me," Katherine's fork topples from her cold quinoa stuffing not once, but twice.
- Afterwards, she grips the fork while walking to her car and, passing Luis' Honda (parked in her spot yet again), the plastic tines scrape his driver's side door. She hasn't meant to—it's plastic right?—though the way the paint curls and peels beneath the pressure of her nubby fingers leaves her flushed with excitement.
The company's having a record year!Doug, while monopolizing the karaoke mic in true Sr.-Mgmt.-style.
I met Lisa Kudrow when I graduated cum laude. She's so down to earth!Angela, peeking over the cubical wall as Katherine adds a heart emoji to her niece's commencement portrait.
Of course, you're invited!Luis, on his way to happy hour at Trapper's. Katherine's still not sure why he stopped by her desk.
(The plush dolphin won for her decades ago by a babysitter at the bust-a-balloon dart toss. He matched her height. Tucked under the covers, she held his flippers and discovered the secret purpose of dorsal fins as she—)
Puts her cup on the box of paper for a refill. "Hold still," Luis says, his hand on hers as rum vapors stream from the plastic jug. "Good, right?" "Really good," she says. His smile shows the gap between his front teeth.
(Her first lover, the shelving clerk at the library. He smelled like pot roast, such a bad kisser, but she had said—)
"Yes," and Luis raises the jug again, so close both of his shoes touch hers, nothing between them—
(The young curate with the dirge of a haircut, the one she'd heard might be gay, who stared at her through the confessional grille as she revealed thirty-eight years of impure thoughts. His voice balmy with each "tell me more," and her hand against the grille, then her forehead, until she heard—)
The sound of cloth scuffing cardboard as she and Luis tussle among boxes of UniBalls, then, a clacking down the hall. Angela, that telltale. They freeze, his soft belly pressing into her, his stubble sharp against her neck.
- Doug is gullible enough to believe anything Angela says.
- Doug's still mad she insisted he itemize all his travel expenses.
- And what's that look Doug gives Katherine in the kitchenette? His McMuffin spinning around in the microwave, and when Luis walks by, Doug's lip curls into what—a smirk? Really?
- Doug's expense reports for the last three sales conferences. Well. Let someone else circulate it. Let someone else ask about the handwritten receipt for $300 spent at Spearmint Rhino labeled client entertainment.
- Top Affordable Places to Swim with Dolphins. No listings for Puerto Rico.
- A copy of her resumé, Frontier Community College barely legible beneath a smudge.
- The recipe for pasteles, Luis' favorite. She didn't recognize half the ingredients. Is culantro the same as cilantro? She should ask him. He's there by his car, holding a cardboard box.